Working Through

 It's been a rough few months. Financially and physically this whole year has seem to knock me down more times than I can count. The year started out hopeful and with renewed energy, but shortly after getting the pot belly pigs (which I wouldn't think of ever rehoming) life threw a curve ball and I feel that I've been struggling to keep up with grocery bills, utilities, feed, you name it. 

Granted, this year I did add the pot belly pigs which don't eat much, four geese who are constantly hungry, another foster-turned-fail dog and another swarm of bees (which were free and only eat the honey they've stored in their hive). I've had decent sales of dog treats this year and average sales of fresh chicken. The laying chickens have been freeloading since about September when they dropped off laying eggs completely with only the occasional egg that has been pecked clean by another flock member. My attempts to discover the guilty party have gone without victory. The eggs don't bring in a lot of money at the market, but they do bring in some and it's usually a gateway product to then talk people into purchasing dog treats. 

Every turn I've made this summer and into the fall and now winter has resulted in stress with accounts - getting hit with lots of overdraft fees, constantly struggling to keep the balance in the positive. I've had struggles before but it just seems its never been this tough. I do still work the four jobs and one of those jobs isn't a steady paycheck so that makes things difficult too. I knew when I started farming it would be tough but this past year has really made me rethink the dream. 

As I was walking back up to the house last evening, following doing the evening chores, I heard the roof on the large pole barn banging up and down in the strong wind from the north. It's a matter of time before that wind takes the piece of tin and bends it back - ruining the roof and causing that section to be replaced. I've reached out to people to help (I don't climb ladders that high - sorry, too risky) but no one has stepped forward even after offering payment. I suppose that's going to have to be on me to do but again, I don't climb ladders that high. There have been too many near misses in the past few years where if I fall I'm out of commission for who knows how long and who is going to step forward and take care of the farm? It's frustrating when folks say passively "well, if you ever need help" and then when you actually do - they are no where to be found. 

That's what I'm working through this fall/winter on the farm. Again, this Blog isn't about the rosy happy side of farming all the time. It's the real side that many farmers don't want to share. It's the struggles of wanting to make something great yet getting the farm gate slammed back on your shins over and over again. 

I know that things will turn and things will get better, but for now, all I want to do is make it through the holiday season. God help me when the bitter cold and snow starts - I'm not looking forward to that at all. 

Until next time...